Outer Banks Community Church

Worthy Walk Series - Ephesians 5:22-33

INTRO: So now the worthy walk leads us to walk in a spirit of submission and love. How much more is there to this worthy walk concept? God’s instructions are not grievous! If we walk down the path God has laid for us—if we do just what He says—we experience the most loving and peaceful, the richest and fullest life imaginable. This is doubly true for husband and wife, for they have the companionship of each other as well of the Lord.

Marriage is a spiritual union that can be formed by God and by God alone. It is much more than two people merely agreeing to live together and to be loyal to one another. It is much more than natural affection or infatuation. It is much more than a mere piece of paper, more than a legal contract, more than bearing offspring. After all, animals do the same. Marriage, when it is brought together and honestly committed to God, is a totally unique union that is unlike any other relationship in life. When consummated by God and placed into the hands of God day by day, it is a spiritual union. A true marriage is a spiritual experience that is beyond anything known in the physical world. It is a spiritual union mutually experienced only by the couples who truly know the love of Christ for His church.

“He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:4-6

Text: Ephesians 5:22-33 (NKJV)

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

1. The Matter of Submission: vs. 22-24

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

“A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (HCSB)

Why is the wife to walk in a spirit of submission? First of all; to submit is God's will. It is a commandment of God. There is to be no argument, not even a question about it: "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands."

God is God, and as God, He has the right to demand anything of us. The next part of that verse says: “as to the Lord.” Why? Because we love Him. The Lord has loved and given Himself for us, given Himself that He might save us. He loved us; we should love Him. This is always the first reason we obey Him. We love Him, when He says to do something; we do it as to Him—to please Him. Christian wives do not obey the Lord out of resentment and reaction because of the commandment. They obey the Lord out of love because they love both the Lord and their husbands.

To submit is God's order for the family. There is to be a partnership and order within the family. This is basic for the family and society to exist. In fact, no organization, no matter what it is, can survive and exist without a spirit of partnership and order. The husband is the head of the wife. The word "head" in Scripture refers to authority not being. Neither man nor woman is superior to the other in being. Men and women are equal in God's eyes. There is an essential partnership between men and women. Neither is independent of the other. Both are from the other, and the relationship that exists between them has come from God.

“In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, and man is not independent of woman. 12 For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman, and all things come from God.” 1 Corinthians 11:11-12 (HCSB)

When God talks about man being the head of the woman, He is not talking about ability or worth. God is talking about function and order within an organization. Every organization has to have a head for it to be operated in an efficient and orderly manner. There are no greater organizations than God's universe, His church, and His Christian family. Within God's order of things there is a partnership, but every partnership must have a head, and God has ordained that man is the head of the partnership. The wife is to be submissive to that authority just as the church is to be submissive to Christ. The submission that wives are to show to their husbands is an example of the submission that all believers are to show to one another. It does not mean that women are inferior to men. It simply means that there is to be an arrangement, an order in the household. Everybody must have such order, and everybody must have a head. Two heads in any body or organization would be a monstrosity and make for disorder. In God's order of things for the family, the husband is the head over the family. He arranges things in a spirit of tenderness and love and the wife is to submit herself in a sweet spirit of understanding and reasonableness. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.” Colossians 3:18 (NLT)

2. The Manner of Love: vs. 25-33

‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

The husband is to love his wife. The love which the husband is to have for his wife is the very love of God Himself; this is an Agape love, a selfless and unselfish love, a giving and sacrificial love. It is the love of the mind and will as well as of the heart. It is not only a love of affection and feelings; it is a love of the will and commitment. The standard of the husband's love is the love of Christ for the church. The love of Christ for the church can be described in one simple statement: Christ gave Himself for the church. Christ loved the church so much that He gave Himself—sacrificed Himself totally—gave all He was and had for it. This is the love the husband is to have for his wife.

The husband's love involves being holy and without blemish. The word "holy" means to be separate and untouched by evil. The husband's love—if it is a real love—will stir him to be holy and unblemished and go a long way in stirring his wife to be holy and without blemish. Few wives could reject such love; few wives would refuse to walk hand in hand with their husbands if they truly loved them with the love that is unselfish and sacrificial.

What a difference would exist in marriage if the husband just nourished and cherished his wife as he does his own body. This means that he is to become one body, one flesh and one set of bones with his wife. Two people could never become any closer. This is complete absorption and assimilation of each into the other—a complete union and oneness, of body and spirit, of mind and thoughts. The love which the husband is to have for his wife is to be the love that will stir him to leave his parents and be joined to his wife. The love which the husband is to have for his wife is a spiritual mystery—a spiritual love—a love just like Christ's love for the church The conclusion is simple and straightforward: the husband is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to reverence (respect and esteem) her husband.

“So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Matthew 19:6 I looked at 5 different translations of this one verse and all of them used the two same words: “Joined Together.” A marriage that really cleaves and is really joined together by God will experience a physical union, a sharing of each other: “A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does.” There is also a mental union: the sharing of each other’s life and dreams and hopes. Let’s not forget there is the spiritual union.

When a couple shares God together day by day, God works supernaturally within their spirits, melting their beings and molding them into what He calls one flesh. They actually become as one person. This is what is meant by "God hath joined together." The Greek word for "joined together" actually means to yoke together. It is God yoking, God joining, God binding the couple together into such a spiritual union that causes them to become one person.

Conclusion: Is this some yucky valentine card statement or is this really God? A man and a woman being spiritually united by God as one person is what cleaving means. Cleaving to one another in God's Spirit is true marriage—the glorious gift of God. No more beautiful picture of marriage could be painted, yet two serious problems exist in far too many marriages. The problem of one or both of the spouses being unwilling to be bound together by the Spirit of God. The problem of one or both of the spouses being unwilling to break away from dependency upon the parents. When you truly join together you will understand the matter of submission and manner of love.

The Biblical premise for a Godly marriage affects everyone is this room today, if you think it doesn’t, that’s the first mistake.

This worthy walk exposes the light which gives you the wisdom to join you together. Let us “JOIN TOGETHER!”